Rukia's Pranks
by Totoromo
Summary: One week of Rukia's pranks, from the lame to the sublime.
1. How it all started

**Title: **Rukia's Pranks

**Fandom: **Bleach

**Rating: **Teen

**Disclaimer: **Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

**Warning: **In different chapters of this story: Mild cursing and some kissing. Also, panties!

**How it all started**

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me about April Fool's Day?" asked Rukia angrily.

"Well, it's not April, and I don't really see why I would tell you about some stupid prank holiday anyways," Ichigo replied, not looking up from his homework.

"Get that pencil out of your mouth, it makes you look stupid!" she said, grabbing it from him.

He looked at her. "Better?" he asked.

"No, you still look stupid," and with that she turned out on her heels and went downstairs.

"Hm," she thought to herself, "Just because I missed it doesn't mean I can't celebrate it, right?"

Upstairs, Ichigo was on the phone. "Renji? Just a warning, I'm pretty sure Rukia is going to try and pull something tomorrow."

"What? Why?" Renji asked.

"There's this stupid holiday called April Fool's Day, people play practical jokes on each other and…"

"Ichigo, why didn't you tell me?"

"I really don't understand why you guys care so much about a stupid world of the living holiday that happened months ago," Ichigo said annoyed.

There was a long pause. "It's really easy to get bored when you live as long as we do," Renji said finally.

"Naw, I just think you and Rukia are sadistic and are sad you missed out on pouring buckets of cold water over people's heads or something," Ichigo stated.

"You should probably know she's pretty good at it," Renji warned, hoping he was going to be left out of whatever Rukia was planning.

"Ha, like I'm worried."

* * *

**Rukia's notes:** Just one day? No, I'm definitely going to need a whole week to do what I want.


	2. Manga

**Day One: Manga**

* * *

Ichigo, despite what he had said to Renji the night before, had been nervous. He had been looking over his shoulder all day expecting…who knows? It was better to be on guard though, just in case. The school day was almost over and he relaxed a little thinking that whatever it was she had planned evidentially it would at least be in the privacy of his own home.

The bell rang and class was dismissed. Ichigo stretched and picked up his bookbag, not noticing that one of the straps had been undone.

"Damn it," Ichigo said mildly as his backback's contents emptied out. It was silly crap like this he had been expecting.

"Oh, let me help you Ichigo," Orihime said, picking up some of the things that had fallen to the floor. She gasped and dropped the book she had been holding.

"Ichigo, I didn't really think you were into this sort of thing," Uryu said drily. Chad said nothing, just grunted and walked out.

"What?" Ichigo asked, taking a closer look.

"Fantastic Ichigo, did you find someone to buy these for you?" Keigo said, flipping through a ridiculously large pile of, if you could judge by the covers, very sexually explicit manga. "Although, I'm not really into all of the gay stuff."

"Oh, where!" Chizuru gleefully pounced on the pile.

Orihime looked like she was going to say something, but then turned even redder and fled the room. "Good job, Ichigo," Tatsuki said as she walked out after her. "Couldn't you at least keep that stuff at home?"

"Oh man," Keigo whispered, paling. "You know Ichigo, you're kind of messed up."

"I noticed you're still reading it," said Mizuiro, who had been quietly looking out the window the whole time.

"Yeah, because I'm curious, but I'm definitely going to have nightmares about…"

Ichigo didn't hear what Keigo was going to be dreaming of that night, thankfully. He was already well out the door and down the hall. He knew where she'd be.

"Hey," Rukia said with a smile.

"Very funny Rukia. Where did you even get those?"

"Why," she said with an arched eyebrow, "are you interested?"

Ichigo sputtered a bit and then walked away. She caught up quickly and they walked home together.

Later that night, as Ichigo was going to sleep, he thought to himself that it really hadn't been that bad. Why had that idiot Renji gotten him all worked up? Sure, his friends now thought he was a pervert, but considering what Kon had most likely been up to with his body they probably thought that already. He could tell them it was a prank anyways and most would believe him, at least Orihime would.

He drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**Rukia's notes: **I can't believe how thick headed Ichigo can be sometimes. Does he really think that something as childish as that would be all I would do? It was amusing of course, though I need to get those books back to Rangiku or she's going to yell at me for a week. I did see a couple of interesting ones though, maybe I could borrow a couple before handing them back.


	3. Maid

**Day Two: Maid**

* * *

"Hey Ichigo, can we stop by Urahara's shop on the way home? I have something for Renji," Rukia asked as they waved good-bye to their classmates.

"Sure."

"Rukia, Ichigo, I was just making some tea, would you like some?" invited Kisuke, calling down from the upstairs living quarters.

"Of course," agreed Rukia pleasantly, which should have tipped them all off that something wasn't kosher since the last time they had had tea together Rukia had accused Kisuke of trying to poison her. Pointing out that what it contained wasn't specifically_ defined _as poison didn't really endear Kisuke to her heart; although it did endear him to the end of her foot as she repeatedly stomped on him.

Renji came up from the shop, having just finished sweeping up, and joined them around the table.

"Didn't you have something for Renji?" asked Ichigo.

"Oh yeah," Rukia pulled out a large flat box, "My brother said something along the lines of feeling bad for you having to deal with the annoying Kurosaki brat all the time and that he had seen you viewing this several times when you've gone into town together and thought you'd like it."

"Wah…" Renji's eyes bulged. His captain had actually not only noticed Renji looking at something but had actually bought it for him, to be nice? He really had been gaping at that pair of goggles but he had never anticipated…

"Well, you'd better open it," Kisuke said curiously.

"Yeah," Renji pulled off the box cover and then without thinking held up…held up…holy shit what…

Renji was holding a very frilly and very tiny maid outfit.

Kisuke actually fell backward he was laughing so hard. Rukia was giggling and Ichigo had choked on his tea.

"Gee Renji, and here I thought Byakuya didn't like you that much," Ichigo managed to get out through his choking laughter.

"No!" Renji yelled, dropping the sexy outfit like it was made of hot coals, his face so red it was practically purple. Suddenly a long white feather tickled at his nose.

"Got you," said Rukia, throwing down the feather and bolting out the door with Renji close on her heels.

* * *

**Rukia's notes: **I did better this time, although Renji ran after me a lot longer than I thought he would. Luckily I've always been faster than him. There was an added benefit in that Yoruichi came over shortly after, saw the outfit, and asked about it. Ichigo and Kisuke were more than happy to relay all of the details and she thought the whole thing was so funny that she called me and helped me come up with an idea for tomorrow.


	4. Ladies

**Day Three: Ladies**

* * *

"They're done training," Yoruichi said into the phone.

"Alright, I'll be right over," Rukia hung up the phone.

"Are you three going to be here for awhile?" asked Yoruichi.

"Well, just until I get enough energy to walk home," said an exhausted Ichigo, who was sprawled out on the ground.

"Rukia is coming over, I told her to just come right in. Can you tell her to go back to my bedroom?"

"Sure," said Kisuke.

"Gesh Ichigo, I feel like I've been hit by a bag of bricks," complained Renji, still trying to regain his breath.

"Well then maybe you should try dodging; or is it that I'm just too fast for you?"

"What? If you think some…"

"Doesn't it seem strange," interrupted Kisuke, hoping to avoid any damage to his living room, "that Rukia is visiting Yoruichi?"

"Huh, yeah that is odd," agreed Renji, calmly down at least temporarily. "I mean, they're friendly I suppose but not enough that I've seen them hanging out together or…"

"Hey guys!" Rukia said breezily, walking through the door.

Dead silence. Rukia was very aware of three pairs of eyes absolutely locked on her.

"Why…are…you…wearing…that?" asked Ichigo, very deliberately. Renji was surprised he could speak at all.

"Oh, Yoruichi saw it yesterday and told me she thought it would be a lot of fun to have a costume party today," she looked down at the very revealing maid outfit that had been on the table yesterday, "I bought it in my size because I figured I might as well not completely waste my money on a stupid pratical joke. I'm not really sure that the lacy thigh highs were necessary but she bought them for me so I guess I should wear them."

More silence.

"So, where is Yoruichi?" she prodded.

Kisuke pointed down the hall. As they heard Yoruichi's door open and close Renji jumped up. "Uh, I really should…" he really couldn't think of any sort of lame excuse so he decided to skip it and walked (ran?) down the hall.

"Yeah," agreed Ichigo.

"Of course," said Kisuke.

So there were three very attentive ears at the door when Rukia said, "I thought you said you wanted a costume party but you're not even dressed yet."

"Well," purred Yoruichi, "I wasn't sure what to wear so I decided that maybe wearing nothing at all might be best."

Breathe, Renji told himself, realizing his ears were ringing and things were starting to go dim.

"Well if you want I can leave while you…hehehehehehe," Rukia started giggling. "Stop it Yoruichi, hehehehehhehe, I'm really ticklish! Heeeheee!"

I really should be going, I really shouldn't be here, I should just leave, Ichigo was chanting to himself, although he had absolutely no intention of leaving.

"Wha…what are you doing!" said a shocked Rukia.

"Don't worry, you'll like it," said Yoruichi in a husky voice.

Damn it, I knew I really should have installed cameras in the guest bedroom, Kisuke was thinking.

All of sudden there was a ripping sound. Was that fabric? All the three men pressed even harder into the door.

"Hello!" said Rukia, throwing the door open.

Having lost their support, all three fell to the ground. A very clothed Yoruichi stood laughing in the corner, but all three pairs of eyes were very firmly looking upward.

"What are you idiots staring at?" Rukia demanded.

"I think," said Yoruichi, laughing harder, "that they are enjoying the view."

Rukia gasped and jumped back. She had forgotten how very tiny the dress was she was wearing, not to mention that she had been practically standing on the three men.

"You jerks!" she said, jumping forward again, fists raised.

Later, the three men, looking a little worse for wear, sat around the table drinking tea. Well, two of them were, Ichigo was trying to figure out how to open his mouth and drink tea without it hurting his swollen jaw.

"Definitely worth it," judged Kisuke.

"Mmm," agreed Renji.

"You guys are sick! She's our friend!" said Ichigo, more or less. The swollen jaw was a making speech a little difficult.

"Yeah, like you didn't look," said Renji, smugly.

"Well of course, how could you miss them? All red…and lacy…" Ichigo trailed off.

"Do you think she always wears stuff like that or was the just for the outf…" Renji stopped suddenly as an enraged Rukia appeared in the doorway like a vengeful fury.

"ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY UNDERWEAR!" she screamed. Renji shuddered, how was it possible that someone so small could be so terrifying sometimes?

All three took a large sip of tea, and tried to look as innocent as possible.

"Ow!" Ichigo remembered belatedly that he was having trouble opening his mouth.

* * *

**Rukai's Notes:** Not as fun as anticipated, considering the results. However, Ichigo is one of those guys with a guilt complex a mile wide and I've definitely been taking advantage of that. I've been making him fetch me juice and snacks all day. Every time he grumbles I just shoot him a dirty look and mention something about telling his dad and he toes the line instantly. I like to think I'm just training him for his future wife. Or husband, you never know. Renji feels bad too, he looks kind of like a sad puppy dog with that black eye I gave him. It's just that pervert Urahara that needs to be taught a lesson and I have just the idea to try on him tomorrow!


	5. Chocolate

**Day Four: Chocolate**

* * *

"Hm," said Rukia, looking up from her World History book. "Yes, this is exactly what I want."

"What is?" asked Orihime.

"Tarring and feathering."

Orihime looked confused.

"In early America they'd punish someone by covering them with tar and then throwing feathers on them," Rukia explained.

"Sounds painful," Orihime said.

"Well yeah, but mostly it was to humiliate them," Rukia wouldn't actually use tar of course. What was tar anyways? In the picture it looked black and thick. Feathers would be easy though. Ichigo had a pillow full of them. Kisuke would look hilarious as a chicken.

* * *

Kisuke Urahara was uneasy. He knew that she was around, he could feel her spiritual pressure, but he hadn't seen her all day. Hopefully she was just planning on doing something to Renji.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice the danger until too late. "Urg!" he jumped away, but not quickly enough. Only about half of the bucket had gotten him but he was still pretty covered in…hm…He looked at his hands. Was this…chocolate? What in the world? However, he wasn't distracted enough to not notice the small whirlwind of feathers coming his way, easily dodging them.

"Damn," thought Rukia. Oh well, at least he still was pretty messy.

Kisuke sighed and took off his drenched hat, looking at it sadly. At least it was only the top part of him that got covered. He began to remove his clothes, Tessai would kill him if he dripped chocolate everywhere. He could only imagine the cleaning job he was going to have to do in the shower after he was done.

"Kisuke?" Rangiku asked, staring wide eyed.

He tried to think of a reasonable reason for him to be half naked and covered in chocolate, but doubt that one existed. There was a long pause. Well, always hope for the best, right? He put on his most charming and (in)sincere smile.

"Do you like chocolate?" he asked, seductively.

"Actually, I do," she said.

"You do?" Kisuke replied, hopefully not sounding as surprised as he was feeling. Of course not, why would he be shocked? He was sure he had sounded sexy. Definitely. Suave even. In fact… "Ggrrrraaa," he said, all brain functions temporarily ceasing.

"Mmmm, what a responsive man you are," said Rangiku, pulling his finger out of her mouth.

She stepped closer. Unlike Yumichika, Rangiku really didn't mind getting dirty sometimes. She licked the chocolate along Kisuke's collar bone and up the side of his neck, eliciting a very long moan.

"Are you actually trembling?" she said.

"No," he replied, trying to retain some dignity. He gave up. "Yes. It's not…I have a no human policy."

Rangiku pondered that for a moment. She leaned in and whispered into her ear. "You don't really mean to tell me you haven't been touched for over a hundred years do you?"

"Yes," he barely managed to get out. Her breath was hot, floating in his ear, her body was so close to him…

"What about Tessai?"

"You have to be kidding," he shuddered, thinking of the massive man, "Even if I was into that sort of thing he definitely isn't my type."

"Yoruichi?"

"She hasn't even been around until the last couple of months, and we're just friends."

"Oh come on, if she was really your friend she'd help you out," Rangiku nuzzled his ear.

"Believe me, I've tried," he said. That really hadn't gone well. It wasn't just that she laughed, it was how hard and long she had laughed.

"I would be a better friend than that," she said, pressing into him.

Kisuke normally wouldn't be her type at all. She had definitely had it up to here with mischievous super intelligent types who you could never get a bead on. However…she nibbled his neck and he gasped, holding her close. She got the feeling that this very strong, very smart, and it had to be said now that she could get a good look at him, very good looking, man, wasn't usually the type to ever completely let his guard down or lose control. Yet right now, he very much in the palm of her hands, at the mercy of her whims, and the feeling was very…intoxicating. She swirled her hands around on his chest, feeling him move against her. "Suck," she ordered, lifting up a chocolate covered finger to his lips.

* * *

**Rukia's notes: **Not according to plan at all. It wasn't a complete loss though, at least Urahara owes me now, and I am definitely going to make sure that he pays up.


	6. Boldness

**Day Five: Boldness**

* * *

"Keigo!" Mizuho yelled. "Why won't you answer the damn door?" The fact that Keigo wasn't in the house had no bearing on her being pissed off at him for his laziness.

She yanked the door open.

"Hi," Rukia beamed at her.

"Um, I know you," Mizuho tried to place her. From school of course, not a classmate of hers though.

"My name is Rukia Kuchiki. I'm a classmate of Keigo's, and actually I'm a friend of Ikkaku and Yumichika as well."

"Well, I'm not sure where Keigo is but I can let him know you came by," Mizuho began.

"Actually, I'm here to talk to you," Rukia said.

Yumichika had felt her spiritual pressure and wandered in from the guest bedroom. He was glancing at her curiously. What could Rukia possibly have to say to the evil, crazy, bitchy hell beast that made every moment of his living here painful? Just that thought made him glare at the back of Mizuho's head. He took out a mint and chewed on it ferociously. He wasn't sure why that was supposed to help, but Ikkaku had said that or counting to 10, because he had to stop losing his temper. Every time Yumichika screamed at her they got kicked out and they'd have to erase her memories so that they had a place to stay that night. It didn't seemed worth it to Yumichika, not even a little, especially not for the "privilege" of living with that hideous little monster.

I really hope he goes along with this, thought Rukia.

"It's just that I'm really close to Ikkaku and I wanted to tell you something about him," she blurted.

Yumichika blinked in surprise.

"You see, he really likes you, he thinks you're great! He has kind of a complex though. He doesn't really like himself and doesn't see how someone as fantastic as you could possibly like him," Rukia continued.

Yumichika made a small gagging noise as he choked on the piece of candy he had been sucking.

"I just think that maybe you need to be a little more bold," Rukia finished.

Be bold? Mizuho turned towards Yumichika, "Is that true?"

If someone had asked him later how long he took to think it over, he would have lied and said that of course he had gone back and forth a couple of times but that in the end it was just too funny. In reality though, the decision was made in an instant.

"Yes," he sighed sadly, "He just doesn't want to hurt you, because he cares about you so much. I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner, but he made me promise to keep it a secret."

Be bolder, Mizuho told herself. I can do that!

Rukia left with a smile and Yumichika retired to the room he shared with Ikkaku with a smirk.

That night, Yumichika met up with Renji and Rangiku in a local bar that they had been frequenting.

"Where is Ikkaku?" asked Rangiku. They had ordered a round of drinks, and she was eye-balling his untouched glass. How long did she have to wait until it was appropriate for her to steal his drink?

"Hey guys," Ikkaku said wearily.

Yumichika slid over so that Ikkaku could sit next to him.

"What," Renji said, pointing at a large red mark on Ikkaku's neck, "is that?"

"Oooh, someone got lucky!" cooed Rangiku.

"Shut up!" Ikkaku snapped angrily. "I did not get lucky! It's just that damned human girl. She's like a ninja, hiding in the closet and jumping out at me, or in worse places." Like the bathroom, he thought to himself. Not that he'd ever bring that up. In fact, he was really hoping that if he drank enough tonight he'd forget it ever happened at all.

Yumichika was staring at the back of Ikkaku head and then starting laughing hysterically. "The back of your head? She gave you a hickey on the back of your head?"

"What am I supposed to do? She's not only a girl but human. I feel like if I shove her off too hard she's gonna break in half or something, and she is giving us a place to stay and food and stuff," Ikkaku looked down at his now empty glass miserably.

"Poor baby," said Yumichika with fake tenderness.

Ikkaku glared at him.

* * *

**Rukia's notes:** I didn't get to witness was happened first hand, but Yumichika was very happy to get me all of the details. I asked him to keep me updated as new things happen. However, Ikkaku walks around jumping at the smallest noise now, peering around doors and into closets, so it might be harder for Mizuho to sneak up on him.


	7. Caffeine

**Day Six: Caffeine**

* * *

"Oh look Kenny!" chirped Yachiru, "A present!"

Captain Kenpachi Zaraki picked up the note on the package. "It's from Ichigo; he says it's something sweet for you."

Yachiru quickly opened up the box. "What are they?" she questioned.

"Drinks. He said to open it by popping that top piece there," Kenpachi read.

There was still some difficulty in opening the odd cans. Kenpachi was reaching for his zanpakuto and one had been thrown out a (closed) window when Yachiru finally figured it out.

She took a sip.

"Eeee! Tickles my nose!" she laughed.

"You like it?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's really good!" she gulped it down and reached for another. "There are different flavors too. Wanna try?"

"Naw, I think I'm gonna take a nap," Kenpachi said, heading for his office. Everyone on the squad knew that Captain Zaraki was only ever in his office when he was sleepy, and no one was stupid enough to bother him there. Well, Kenpachi smirked to himself, _usually _not stupid enough. He had had fun "teaching" a couple of those sneaky squad two delivery guys to not bother him the other day.

Several hours later, he wearily trekked through the wreckage that used to be Squad 11. He found a room that seemed fairly intact and collapsed in it.

Someone screamed outside. "PONNNNNNNNYYY!" Yachiru was yelling with a maniacal laugh.

Looking around he realized that he had finally made it to his office. It honestly wasn't until he saw the package on his desk that he began to make connections. Those damn drinks…Ichigo… "CAPTAIN HELP ME!" some random squad member yelled, running by outside. Kenpachi ignored him, although to be fair he actually did feel bad for whomever it was, which was more than he would feel normally.

Ichigo did this, he thought. "Ichigo," he growled the name out loud to no one.

He looked at the package on his desk. From Ichigo. Of course. He opened it.

If Squad 11 thought it had been loud before, they all got a shock when Captain Zaraki belted out a primal roar. Some poor Squad 12 scientists who had been walking nearby one of the walls bordering their squads heard it and promptly scurried back into their labs like the rats they always studied.

* * *

"Hey, it's the Captain," Ikkaku said, staring at his cell phone in wonder.

"I didn't even think he knew how to work his phone," said Yumichika. "It's probably Yachiru just using his line."

"Hey Renji, give me a second," Ikkaku looked at his friend. They were all going out to eat something called pizza, which Renji had been raving about.

Rukia and Ichigo walked in through the shop door at that moment. "Yeah, I'll just chat for awhile," Renji replied, walking towards them.

Ikkaku answered his phone, and then almost fell over. He tried again, with the phone much farther away from his ear this time.

"Captain, I," he started and then listened. "Uh yeah, actually Ichigo is right here…decapitate? Don't you think that's kind of harsh he's just a kid…no…gesh Captain…I'm pretty sure you can't actually do that…um…no actually I lied he's not here right now…" Ikkaku was looking at Ichigo the whole time, looking more and more worried.

"You're right," Captain Zaraki growled into the phone, "I got a better idea. The next time I see him I'm gonna make him wear this damn bra while I leer at him!"

Ikkaku paled, "Captain…"

Kenpachi hung up.

All eyes were on Ikkaku. "Uh, so Ichigo," he started.

"…yeah?" Ichigo replied hesitantly.

"I'm thinking you're not going to want to go back to the Soul Society for awhile."

"Why is that?"

"Well, it seems that you sent Yachiru a crate of soda, which she promptly drank most of. She's pretty much destroyed most of Squad 11, but that's not why the Captain is mad at you," Ikkaku paused.

"I didn't…" Ichigo glared at Rukia.

"He's mad at you because after all of that he found a package from you to him containing what he describes as a very very large lacy bra."

Yumichika gasped.

"Shit Ichigo," Renji said, gulping.

"Um, and he's either gonna decapitate you or make you wear the bra next time he sees you, maybe both," Ikkaku finished.

"Well, looks like I can't go back to the Soul Society ever again," sighed Ichigo.

Rukia was conspicuously absent, thinking that it was probably better to leave now while everyone was distracted.

* * *

**Rukia's Notes:** I'd like to think that if Kenpachi catches up with him he'll make Ichigo wear the bra while marching him through squad eleven to lots of lewd comments and catcalls. Then again, I'm still mad about him seeing my underwear. Besides, Captain Zaraki likes Ichigo, I doubt he'd really decapitate him. I'm not worried. I'm excited about tomorrow, my grand finale piece and by far the best thing I've come up with.

_/ background_

Ichigo: Of course you're not worried, it's my head! Like Kenpachi wasn't psychotic enough already!


	8. Kiss

**Day Seven: Kiss**

* * *

Rukia hadn't been able to find anyone all day. She could have just called and suggested they meet up, it was the weekend after all, but she didn't want to tip her hand. No, her best bet was Urahara's shop.

As she approached she could feel spiritual pressure from multiple shinigami. So this was where they'd all been hiding. They hadn't figured out what she was up to, had they?

"She's here," whispered Rangiku.

Rukia listened at the door before entering.

"I really can't believe it," said Yumichika.

"Are you dumb or something?" growled Ikkaku. "It was totally obvious from the beginning they had a thing for each other."

"Yeah, but I really didn't think he'd act on it," replied Yumichika.

Huh, thought Rukia, knocking.

"Hello Rukia," Rangiku answered the door.

"Where are Kisuke and Renji?" Rukia asked. And Ichigo, she thought. She could feel him around too.

Rangiku looked sheepish. "Uh, so do you know?"

"Know about what?"

"Oh course she knows," Yumichika chimed in. "I mean, the two of them are like her best friends."

"I'm not sure…" Rukia paused.

"Oh," said Yumichika, looking abashed.

"Geez guys, it's not like it's a big deal," Ikkaku said matter-of-factly. "Sometimes these things just happen."

"What things?" Rukia asked.

"Well you see Ichigo and Renji are…" Rangiku paused, "involved."

"Involved?"

"They're screwing each other," Ikkaku clarified.

"WHAT!" Rukia screamed.

She could feel them close; they must be in the kitchen. She was definitely going to figure out what the hell they meant by saying…

She opened the door and gasped.

Renji had Ichigo against a wall, their hands interlocked above their heads, their entire bodies pressing together, mouths opened in a passionate kiss. Renji moaned.

"ARRRGHHHHHHH!" Rukia yelled, running right back out.

"Alright, you can get off of me now," Ichigo said to Renji, who was entirely too close for comfort.

"Oh come on, you know you like it," Renji said, with an evil smile.

"You bastard!" Ichigo punched at Renji's face. Renji had long since learned how to dodge that particular punch, and easily moved out of the way.

"What's wrong princess, first kiss?" Renji said, mockingly.

"I'm going to kill you!"

The others wandered in. Rangiku was wiping away tears she had been laughing so hard.

"Oh man, you should have seen her face," Ikkaku said with a smirk.

"Haha! Well I didn't get a good look at her but I sure as hell heard her," Renji smiled.

"We should probably go and get her and let her know it was a joke," said Ichigo nervously.

"You are one insecure guy, Ichigo," Renji teased, easily dodging the punch to his face. He wasn't expecting the knee to his solar plexus though. "Oof!"

* * *

They all went downstairs to the shop, where they had told Kisuke to wait and detain Rukia if she tried to run away. To their surprise she was sitting cross legged next to him, looking completely calm. Actually, on closer look, she almost looked…cocky.

Rukia looked over at Kisuke and held out her hand. "Pay up!" she demanded.

Kisuke somewhat reluctantly pulled out his wallet and counted out a stack of money into her open palm. "Easiest bet I've ever won," she said, pocketing the cash.

"Er," Renji had no idea what was going on, but that happened sometimes. He looked around at the faces of his compatriots in crime but saw no clue there, they all looked at stonewalled as he did.

"Rukia bet me that she could get you and Ichigo to kiss within a week. I didn't…" Kisuke couldn't finish his sentence because everything had become very clear to Ichigo.

"RENJI WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled.

"Don't blame me, it was Rangiku's idea!"

"Oh yeah, and why did we listen to her? Everyone knows she's a…" Ichigo was interrupted.

"I'M A WHAT? SAY IT! See how much of you they find when Haineko turns you to dust!" Rangiku actually looked threatening, which was a feat considering how easy it was to not take her seriously because of her balloon sized always on display breasts.

"Hahahahaha!" Yumichika was on the ground. "Hahahaha, you had to kiss Renji!"

"Heh! Hahahaha! Renji, you're a pedophile now, I hope you know that!" roared Ikkaku, reeling backward from his laughter.

"DAMN IT!" Renji really didn't know what to do, but whatever it was, it involved killing things, and since all of the things in here were (supposedly) his friends, he decided to go outside and find something else he could chop down. There were trees across the street right? Screw those trees! They were going down!

After it had died down, and it was just Rukia and Kisuke again, Rukia pulled out the money and gave it back to Kisuke.

"You are an evil, evil woman," he said.

"I just like to think that I'm quick on my feet. I couldn't possibly let them get the best of me," she sighed. "After all of that work that I put into my prank too."

"Well, there's always next year," Kisuke said cheerily.

"Yup, or next week!" Rukia agreed.

Kisuke paled a little.

* * *

**Rukia's notes:** Fine, so they got me. Really, really, got me. I, however, got over it, while they _still _think somehow I manipulated the whole thing. Captain Zaraki heard about it from Ikkaku and Yumichika and offered his services in anything I have planned for Ichigo in the future. I also made sure to let my brother know so he could harangue Renji about it during their next Captain/Lieutenant meeting. I wasn't sure if he would approve of what I had been doing but figured I should tell him all the details of the week, in case it got back to him from someone else. It turns out, while he didn't laugh, his eyes definitely sparkled. Especially at the part of Kenpachi's giant bra.


End file.
